Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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