I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
