if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
