I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
