i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
