Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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