Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
3 2 1 whiskey
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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