There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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