Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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