i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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