AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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