When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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