We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i think i just lost a toe
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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