I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
