onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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