Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
