I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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