just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
