awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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