Betty ford says i'm here all night
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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