How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
