Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
