I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Let's get the cat blown out
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize