every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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