She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
