Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
