Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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