There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I am one with the molecules
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
