so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize