I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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