We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
