she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think your dad took our porno
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
