my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
