Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
