i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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