there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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