so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
