Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
