Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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