butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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