So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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