TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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