That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
ok first of all what the fuck
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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