you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
