He uses pillows to masturbate.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
