Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
