I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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