Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize