Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
