He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
