I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
This house was built for laser tag.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
