Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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