god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
