Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
