she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
