If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
